Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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