my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
