I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
