There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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