u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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