Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
