Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You smell like stripper and shame
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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