I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
