there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
