I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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