Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i was born a porn star she said
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
True strength comes from lack of pants
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
