if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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