No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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