can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
