she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
