people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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