Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
