If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
