just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
