haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
