Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
