i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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