yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
