ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what did you do?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i asked her out. that's so hot.

  Fav 56 10025 1272

  share tweet
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"

  Fav 71 17043 1412

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (503): View more from Oregon

  PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."

  Fav 17 6088 1068

  share tweet
  

• (325): View more from Texas

  The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am

  Fav 11 1448 3309

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (928): View more from Arizona

  I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!

  Fav 9 3749 1217

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime

  Fav 9 2467 1312

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"

  Fav 5 2688 814

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Bad breakup?

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.

  Fav 54 1749 6786

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.

  Fav 4 1592 806

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!

  Fav 5 1829 1005

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.

  Fav 8 946 636

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (925): View more from California

  Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.

  Fav 1 903 496

  share tweet
  

• (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.

  Fav 0 212 180

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...

  Fav 0 43 19

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick

  Fav 2 63 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize