I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
