Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize
