So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ketchup is God's man juice
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just had sex on a roof
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.