She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
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You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
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I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions