i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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