escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
