The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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