Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
