Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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