EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
