Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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