It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
