Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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