Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
