Have you finally orgasmed yet?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
