So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
