..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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