i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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