i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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