What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
