the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
