good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize