so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize