? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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