sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
