She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
