we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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