that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
