Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
