mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
