it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
