she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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