Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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