Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
