Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
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He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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