Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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