Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
