Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
