So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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