I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
