pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
