Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
