he wants to bone in the snuggie
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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