I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
