HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
